You know when you’re just living life & confused & not knowing where God is going with all of this stuff that’s piled up in your life? That was me. It still is me in a way. For the past week, I’ve been making choices that probably weren’t the best, my relationship with God is a little bit on the high school long distance side (we’re in “a relationship” but communication & time spent together is pretty minimal). And that sucks but I’m stuck in this rut of I don’t know what to do.
Ok, I do know what to do. I need to stop wasting time & crack open my Bible. I need to actually pray about stuff - all of it. The crap stuff, the great stuff, and all of the stuff in between. I know I need to do it, but I don’t. What’s with that?? I think I’m having a hard time just giving up my ideas of what I want my life to be & accepting what God actually has planned.
No, I’m not going to be 6’5” and black with mad skills so that I can make it to the WNBA
No, I don’t have prospects of marriage. At all.
These things aren’t happening for me, not right now. And I’m all caught up in that.
Today, I opened up my laptop to finish up on an assignment and my background picture said, “What kind of king would bear a crown made of thorns and scars just to win my heart?”
That’s MY king. He did that. In that moment, I remembered that my way sucks. It does. So does your’s. We think we’re fantastic and brilliant, but in reality, that’s just vanity & smoke. When our ways don’t happen, our silly crummy ways, that means that God has something bigger and infinitely better planned for us.
I got a slap in the face from God reminding me that I’m single NOW. I’m 5’8’ NOW. I’m in Thunder Bay NOW. I shouldn’t be killing time until things roll around to the way I want them to be. I could get the things I want (except maybe the ethnicity and height change) but they wouldn’t be the things I need right now.
I praise God for his wisdom & insight on my life & for keeping me on the right path, even if it’s not the one I want. Sometimes, I can act like a 5 year old who just complains all day for not getting what she wants. I’m pretty ashamed to admit that & to realize the amount of annoyance that could cause someone. Luckily, my God has patience and a sense of humour.
MY king wore that crown of thorns that made him bleed and scar to win my heart. And your’s too. How powerful, eh?